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Astrological Bumper Stickers
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Aries: I don’t brake for anyone, so get out of my way!
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Taurus: I’d rather be braking.
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Gemini: I brake to change the radio station while talking on my cell phone.
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Cancer: I brake for yard sales and open houses.
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Leo: Hey! Give me a brake!
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Virgo: I brake to check and see if my brakes are working.
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Libra: I brake for others, if that’s all right with you.
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Scorpio: I’ll brake when I’m damn good and ready, so leave me the hell alone!
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Sagittarius: On the road of life, one brakes for many things but stops for none…..
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Capricorn: Born Braking.
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Aquarius: I brake rules.
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Pisces: I brake for worms and caterpillars.
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A Short Guide to Comparitive Religions
| ATHEISM: | No s–t. |
| BUDDHISM: | “If s–t happens, it really isn’t s–t.” |
| CALVINISM: | S–t happens because you don’t work hard enough. |
| CATHOLICISM: | S–t happens because you are BAD. |
| CEREMONIAL MAGIC: | I can make s–t Happen. |
| CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: | S–t is only in your mind. |
| CONFUCIANISM: | Confucius say: “s–t happens.” |
| EXISTENSIALISM: | What is this s–t anyway? |
| FUNDAMENTALISM: | BIG s–t will happen… SOON! |
| HARE KRISHNA: | S–t happens Rama Rama. |
| HEDONISM: | There’s nothing like good s–t happening. |
| HINDUISM: | This s–t happened before. |
| ISLAM: | “If s–t happens, it is the will of Allah.” |
| JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES: | Let us save you from the s–t. |
| JUDAISM: | Why does s–t always happen to US? |
| MOONIES: | Only happy s–t really happens. |
| MORMONISM: | If s–t Happens, you have two wives to blame it on. |
| NEW AGE: | Visualize no s–t happening. |
| PAGANISM: | S–t is a part of the Goddess too! |
| PROTESTANTISM: | S–t won’t happen if I work harder. |
| QUAKERS: | “No s–t here, please.” |
| RASTAFARIANISM: | Let’s smoke some s–t. |
| SANTERIA: | S–t Happens to your goat. |
| SATANISM: | Sneppah T–s. |
| SCIENTOLOGY: | Feces Occurs. |
| STOICISM: | S–t is good for me. |
| SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS: | No s–t on Saturdays. |
| TAOISM: | S–t happens. |
| TELEVANGELISM: | Send money or s–t will happen to you! |
| WICCANISM: | “Oh s–t, I got that spell wrong again.” |
| YAWEHS: | S–t Happens to white folks. |
| ZEN: | What is the sound of s–t happening? |
| ZOROASTRIANISM: | S–t happens half the time. |